Tuesday, June 7, 2011

So Much To Catch Up On......

It's amazing how much can change in such a short amount of time. It's like as soon as I get over the loss of the last adoption and start this blog to document what we are going through, we get the call of a lifetime.
Here is what has been going on:

Friday, 22 April, 2011: While Aaron and I are working on some gardening our phone rings. If our house phone rings we know it is either a telemarketer or the adoption agency. Seeing as it had been only about a month since our last adoption failed I thought it had to be a telemarketer, but I was wrong. It was Olga from AdoptHelp and she had some big news. While Aaron just stared up at me with his hands covered in soil my eyes went wide and my jaw dropped to the floor. Before I knew it I was umping up and down and waving my arm up and down. I couldn't tell Aaron anything yet because I was still listening to Olga trying to get all of the info. I was told that a couple was in the hospital in our city and that they just had a baby girl earlier that morning. They wanted to place her for adoption and since we were on the emergency list due to our past failed adoptions that we had first opportunity to take her home. I asked for a break so that I could let Aaron know and she of course said OK. I let Aaron know everything I was told and asked him what he though. We of course said yes. We got the information that we needed and ran to get cleaned up and ready to go. We went straight to the hospital where we went to the birth mothers room. We asked a nurse to see if she was ready to meet us and the birth mother said no. It turns out Olga forgot some details; like the fact that this was a closed adoption. We were then off to the nursery to meet our baby girl. The nurses put our names on the records so that we could come back and spend time with her whenever we wanted. Holding that beautiful, 5 pounds 10 ounces, 18 inches long baby girl just flooded me with so many emotions. I had never been around newborns before, so seeing how tiny she was just took my breath away. I just looked at her sleeping and was in awe. Part of my was so scared to let myself love her because I had been so hurt with the failed adoptions before. Knowing that her birth mother could change her mind at any time for the next two days was horrifying to me. But at the same time looking at her, holding her and smelling her; how could I keep myself from falling in love with her? Aaron and I just took turns holding her and feeding her and changing her diapers for a couple of hours. Then it was time to go home to get some dinner. We had decided not to tell anyone but Aaron's commander (he needed to know what was going on since Aaron was scheduled to leave on Monday), but I suck at secrets. We decided to use the pictures that we had taken of us holding our baby girl as a picture text to break the news to our family and friends, later then on facebook. Our families were shocked and excited. Aaron didn't get a phone call after the text so her called his parents to see if they got it. Dad answered the phone and told us that mom was up stairs and probably didn't have her phone on her. So a few seconds later we hear commotion and all of the sudden "What is this photo?" We laughed and explain what had happened. They were excited and happy but nervous as well. I then called my family after getting some texts (since my grandparents don't check their texts or facebook). They were thrilled as well. I called my sister but no answer. I then called my mother and she was happy too. Then I get a call from my sister screaming what the heck that picture was. Had I been keeping a secret? Just overall what was going on. lol. I explained the situation to her and she started screaming and crying and was just overwhelmed. That was the kind of reaction I was totally hoping for.
After the calls and texts were done we ate some dinner and called it a night. Sadly for me, I could not sleep. I was scared that I was going to wake up and the whole thing was a dream or that I would wake up to a phone call saying that the birth mother changed her mind. But none of that happened.


After everyone left Aaron and I ran up the stairs, grabbed quick showers, got dressed and headed out the door to the hospital. When we got there and they brought our daughter, who we named (not legally) Anya Rose, I had to ask about the birth mother. I asked how she was feeling and if they knew any details. They told us that she was fine and just wanted to leave. They said that they were given the impression that the young 23 year old couple were not ready to be parents and just wanted to sign the papers and leave. To this day I wish that we could have at least met the birth parents, but at the same time I am glad for the way things are. I will not have to worry about Anya feeling torn or having our privacy invaded.
We loved our time with Anya in our private nursery room. I just held her and rocked in the rocking chair  while staring at her beautiful face. We left an hours later knowing that tomorrow would be the day of truth; whether we were really going to be parents or not.

Easter Sunday, 24 April, 2011: We knew that Anya was born at like 0836 on Friday so the paperwork would be signed around the same time since it was a 48 hour waiting period. We woke up and got dressed up and headed straight to the hospital. I disliked the fact that we were missing Easter service at church, but figured it was for a good enough reason. :D It turned out that the hospital was very very unorganized and AdoptHelp was off the ball with sending our case to their Texas adoption connection. So it took several more hours to get the paperwork signed. Every time the nursery phone rang I held my breath.  Every time a nurse walked out of or into the nursery my heart jumped out of my chest. But after everything, we loaded up Anya into the truck and headed home.
We had to stop by Aaron's work on our way home so that he could pick up some gear that he needed for his trip to NC Monday morning. Papi saw us on the highway and pulled a U-turn to meet up with us at the shop to see what we call his baby sister. After going home some neighbors saw her and dropped off cards and flowers. Then we were able to start settling down into our new life as a real family.

Aaron left before dawn on Monday. So I was left all alone to learn how to be a parent. I got like no sleep the whole time that he was gone. I had no idea what to expect but I did the best that I could. Anya turned out to be the perfect baby. She didn't cry just would stare. She would start wiggling when she needed a change or to be fed. Members from my church even brought my over dinner a few night (like 3 or 4) and that was very nice. By the 28th Anya had gained 3 ounces. She only wants to go to sleep while being held. She hates her crib, she has started to get fussy until I hold her against me. Before I knew it I had everything down, expect the deal with her umbilical cord on the 3rd. It would start to spot blood on her diapers and onsies and then when it feel off I wasn't sure it was OK. So whenever I was questioning something I would call and text my family. But we both made it through.
Aaron came home on the 5th and was granted his free 21 adoption leave days starting Tuesday. My friend Ada and her hubby threw us a baby shower on the 6th. It was awesome! They went all out with the food and everyone brought great gifts, we just had a blast! Then they had their house warming party the next day so went there for the party. It was just a weekend of fun, great food and even better company.
We had bought a gorgeous diamond necklace for our birth mother before we found out that our birth mother didn't want to meet us. So for Mothers Day we counted it as Aaron and Anya's gift to me. Good enough for me. Andrea, my sister-in-law sent me chocolate covered strawberries for my first Mothers Day as well. Then Aaron made me dinner. I finally don't hate Mothers Day!!
We took Tuesday to pack for our cross country trip to see family and left Wednesday morning. We pushed very hard and actually made the trip from El Paso, TX to Clarksville, TN by Thursday around midday. We enjoyed the time with family and everyone simply adored Anya. On the 13th was the first time that Anya slept through the night. It was the most restful sleep ever! Mom made Anya a baby blanket and showed me how to crochet. On the 14th Aaron's brother and his wife treated us to our first family photos at Sears.

Sunday we went to church with my in-laws and I saw one my cousins who I have not seen in about a year.  On the 16th I went out to lunch with my mother in law, sister in law and my 2 cousins that live in TN. It was nice to get together. Then we decided that my cousins, one of their hubbies and their daughter would like to go bowling with my hubby and Anya and I. We also took my youngest brother-in-law and my cousin brought a gentleman friend. We were there for a few hours and just had a blast. Aaron brought me German chocolate for the first time and I fell in love. So, the next day we went to a German restaurant where I fell in love with their food and picked up about $50 worth of chocolate.
On the 18th we left to go to NC to visit my family and Aaron's sister. I loved being home with my grandparents and the rest of my family. On the 20th I took Aaron and Anya to one of my favorite restaurants that I was never able to take Aaron to when we lived in NC, Luigi's.  We also did some shopping. My family threw a little get together on Anya's one month old mark. There was food and my aunt, two cousins, mother, sister and her four kids, my sister-in-law and her two kids and then of course Aaron, Anya and me. My sister had been shopping for Anya since she got the text a month ago so she had several bags of outfits and then my cousins and their mom gave a bag of outfits as well. My sister-in-law had already sent her present before we left TX so she was off of the hook :D.
The 24th was a sad day for me. It was the day I had to say good bye to my family and head back to Hell Paso. Aaron and I really pushed it on the driving and actually made it back home in under 2 days. Then it was back to real life. I had to do all of the laundry from the trip and wash all of those new clothes Anya received. I had to get back to the cooking and cleaning all while taking care of my baby.
On the 31st Anya had an appointment because I was freaking out about this weird rash all over the face, head, shoulders and back. The doctor told me that she is fine and that most babies get it, it's some type of baby acne or whatever. He told me that I just need to relax about it cause there is nothing that we can do about it and it doesn't even phase Anya. I also found out that my tiny baby girl wasn't so tiny anymore. She was all of the sudden a whopping 8 pounds 4 ounces and 20 inches long. The doctors are very happy with the progress that she is making. She is also congested but we are taking care of that with a humidifier and saline drips in the nose.
Aaron had to go in the field Monday, June 6th, 2011. So I am back to being left alone, but I'm used to it now. I love the alone time I get with Anya. I love being a mommy with all of my heart and soul. I can't imagine my life without her. She is everything to me. I just hope that I can make her as happy as she makes me. I am so grateful to everyone who has been so supportive; not just my family but my friends (both in person and online). I am want to thank God for finding me worthy of such a blessing. Words just aren't enough to express all of the gratitude and love I feel.

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